Being single is hard! Actually it kinda sucks! Especially on days like Valentine’s Day or holidays in general. As a soon to be “ former wife,” I can honestly admit, that I’m not looking forward to being single again. Although I have been separated and living apart from my ex for some time now, the reality still hasn’t hit me, that I’m starting all over again!
Going through a separation is like losing a loved one and enduring the mourning process that follows. Although the marriage ended, my feelings and the life that we built and the family we created, had to catch up, adjust and evolve! I spent many days and nights at first crying in the shower, debating if whether or not I made the right choice or if God was angry with me because He “ hates divorce!” I spent a couple of months researching the topic of divorce and separation and whether or not it would land me in hell. There were plenty of sleepless nights where I held onto my children, as I prayed to God for strength. Sometimes that’s what we have to do. We have to dig deep in the trenches and hold onto to what we have whether it’s a pillow, a blanket, the Bible, or perhaps the arms of a parent and in my case it was my faith and my children.
When I was married, that pressure to be married with the white picket fence was off of my back. Forget the terrible fights, the fact that we rushed, and had little in common, the pressure was off and that was all that mattered. Everybody wants to be Social media happy. Every body wants to look the part through pictures and posts, but what does your union look like when the lenses are off?
I have always believed that marriage is important. I always thought the choice was ours and that as long as we did things right, God was alright with our choices. Yes God gives us free will, however I believe, just like every area in our lives he wants to help us make the best choices. We can have something that’s simply alright, something good, or something amazing! God wants us to have His best for us. Something amazing! Not perfect but a pairing that God could only bring together making the hard times a little more bearable.
When waiting for God’s best, there will be sacrifice and your patience will be tested. The enemy will send many counterfeits. You’ll be tested on how much you value yourself and what you’ll be willing to accept. But most importantly, God will test you to see if you’ll put Him first. If you’ll marry Him first. If you’ll allow healing. If you’ll allow stretching. These are all uncomfortable words that nobody wants to hear when everybody is having babies and getting married, but with the marriage rates today and just knowing how much my father knows and loves me, I’m willing to make the sacrifice. Are you?
So what can you do while you wait?
- Grow more intimate with God
- Allow Him to heal you from past truama
- Allow yourself time to get over your last situation
- Do something you’ve always wanted to do
- Have fun
- Take care of your body
- Spend time with family and friend
- Spend each day practicing gratitude and contentment